Miscarriage is Lonely

It's taken almost a year for me to be able to share our story. I decided to start this blog for two reasons. One, I knew it would be good for me to get it all out. And two, I hope that sharing our story will help someone else, even if it just lets them know that they aren't alone.

Miscarriage is very lonely.

For one thing, when you experience the loss of a pregnancy, the only one who really feels the pain of that loss is you. I'm the only one my babies were really real to. Tim was sad and he felt a sense of loss, but it hasn't affected him like it's affected me. It's just different for men.

Also, even though it's something that many women go through (an estimated 30% of pregnancies end in miscarriage), it's a taboo subject. It's something we aren't supposed to talk about. We're expected to suffer in silence. Recently, I found out that my grandmother had several miscarriages. I knew that my aunt had a stillborn twin, but I didn't know about the other losses. My mom had no idea. It makes my heart ache to think that she most likely kept the hurt inside. I really hope she had some sort of support; someone to talk to who understood. I'm lucky that I've been blessed with a wonderful support system.

I don't think it's an accident that we ended up at our church. It was definitely all God. There are so many women there who have struggled or are struggling with miscarriage, infertility, and/or failed adoptions. We're all in different places, some have gotten their babies and some of us are still waiting. There's always a listening ear or a shoulder to cry on. They understand, and I'm so, so thankful that God brought them into my life.