Testing my Patience

Up to this point, I've really only talked about our losses. That's mostly what this blog is going to be about, because that's what I'm dealing with right now. However, our losses are just a part of our journey. We're also blessed to be the parents of a precious little girl, so I'll be talking about her and the joys and difficulties of being a parent sometimes too.

Patience is a virtue that I was not blessed with. Not only is my patience being tested through our journey of trying to conceive, but I also have a very stubborn, strong-willed three-year-old. You always hear about the terrible two's, but no one warns you about the three's. For us, the terrible two's came early (around 22 months) and were gone quickly. Two was a breeze. Three has been a struggle, though.

Piper is feisty, defiant, and very stubborn. She's also very sweet, funny, and smart; but those qualities are easy to deal with. When she makes up her mind about something, there is no changing it. Did I mention that she never forgets anything? And she has more attitude than some teenagers I know. As much as I love my daughter and love being a mom, it is definitely frustrating at times. She knows exactly how to push my buttons and drive me crazy.

I know she's just trying to assert her independence (and she is VERY independent), but it would be nice if, even occasionally, she did what I asked the first time I asked it, without arguing or asking "Why?" She can't flush the potty because it's too loud (she's been flushing the potty for over a year now) or she can't put that away because she's still playing with it (even though she hasn't touched it in an hour) or really any excuse she can come up with. She also likes to pretend she can't hear me. "What?" "Huh?" Because if she can't hear me ask her to pick up her toys, she doesn't have to do it, right? At this very moment, there is a garbage bag full of toys sitting in our storage closet because she refused to pick them up. There have been times that I've actually been concerned about her hearing. I'm pretty sure it's fine though, because I can say, "Please, put your clothes in the laundry basket." and get a "What?" Then in the same tone and volume say, "Do you want to go to the park?" and get an immediate, "Yes!" It can be really infuriating.

Speaking of infuriating, a few weeks ago she started sticking her tongue out at me. I told you she has an attitude. I think putting mustard on her tongue may have broken that habit, though, because she hasn't done it to me since. I'm not sure how to get her to stop rolling her eyes, though, so if you have any ideas, please fill me in.

Then, there are the things she probably should get in trouble for, but I can't stop laughing long enough to punish her. For instance, a few weeks ago she said to Tim, "Just chill out, Dad. Quit being such a girl." I know I shouldn't have laughed, but it's hard to get mad at her when she's so hilarious.

I love that little girl more than I ever thought possible, but parenting is hard work. I'm far from perfect, sometimes I lose my temper, sometimes I yell, and I don't always have the right answers to her seemingly endless questions. All you can do is just try your best and hope you don't screw them up too much. My greatest desire is to raise children who have a heart for the Lord, respect themselves and others, are empathetic and caring, and have a strong sense of morals and values. I try to lead by example, and fail miserably some days. Being a mom is stressful. Then my sweet girl climbs up in my lap, gives me a big hug, and says, "I love you, Mommy."