Great Expectations

Sometimes, I think I expect too much from people. Especially people who have been in my shoes (and sometimes people who haven't.) I expect others to be sensitive, caring, and sympathetic. More often than not, though, that just isn't the case.

It always surprises me when people who have experienced a miscarriage complain non-stop about pregnancy or incessantly talk about their pregnancy or flood my news feed with ultrasound and belly pictures. Now, I'm not saying that they shouldn't be excited, it's an exciting time. I'm also not saying that they shouldn't complain; pregnancy is hard (but maybe everyone on Facebook doesn't need to know about your morning sickness.) You just never know when your joy is another person's sorrow. Sometimes it seems like once someone who has experienced loss gets blessed with a healthy pregnancy, they just forget what it was like to walk on the side of sorrow.

I'll be honest. I use the "hide story" function on Facebook a lot. I'm happy for my friends who are experiencing healthy pregnancies, but sometimes it's painful to see. Their joy is my sorrow. Every update, ultrasound picture, and mention of pregnancy reminds me of what I don't have. Facebook has a been a huge source of pain for me, and I don't ever want to be that for someone else.

So, this is my vow to all of my friends who have lost pregnancies or dealt with infertility:

If I ever get to walk on the other side, the side of joy, again, I will keep any complaints to myself. I will not post any ultrasound or bump pictures on my Facebook profile. I will keep all pregnancy talk to an absolute minimum. I know it's inevitable that my joy will cause someone else pain, but I don't want to make it worse than it has to be. I want to be kind, caring, compassionate, and understanding. I want to be sensitive to the pain of others.

I hope and pray I get to experience the joy of a healthy pregnancy again, but I also don't ever want to forget this journey and the pain and heartache of miscarriage and infertility.