Baby Dedication

I feel like such a mess some days. Sunday was one of those days. We had a baby dedication at church, and I had a complete meltdown. Maybe I should have foreseen that this might be emotional for me and I could have prepared myself, but I honestly wasn't expecting it at all. I've been in such a good place lately. All the parents were standing up there holding their little ones, one of whom was born within days of Avery's due date and it just hit me... I should be standing up there too. Just another reminder of what I want so badly, of what I had in my grasp, if only for a moment. I was fighting back tears and doing a pretty good job of holding it together until they started praying and Tim put his arm around me. Then I turned into a sobbing, blubbering mess. I made my way to the restroom, took a few deep breaths, and tried to pull myself together.

As I left the bathroom, my friend, Beth, was leaving the sanctuary. It's really amazing how God works. He knew exactly who I needed to bump into at that moment. I know I've mentioned Beth before (and I hope she doesn't mind), she's one of few people in my life who "get it." She's been where I am now. She understands. She always knows the right thing to say, and I am so thankful for her.

I was on the verge of tears through the rest of the service, but I managed to hold it together. I'm feeling a little more emotional in general lately. Probably because there are two tough dates coming up. December 11th marks the one year anniversary of losing Avery and January 24th is Kendall's due date. Those days will be tough, but I know I'll be fine. I'm thankful for a God who comforts, especially on the days I feel too weak to even breathe.

"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God."  2 Corinthians 1:3-4