Missing Who They Should Have Become

"For the little girls who will never spin around in frilly dresses, or take a ride on their daddy's shoulders...

For the little boys who will never play in their first tee-ball game, or snuggle on the couch with their mama...

For the little babes who left us before we even knew your gender, or your name...

Today, and everyday, we love and miss the YOUs you should have become."

I saw this on the Faces of Loss, Faces of Hope Facebook page and thought it was really beautiful. People have a hard time understanding how I can miss someone I never met and this sums it up really well. I miss who my children never got the chance to be. I often wonder what they would have looked like and what their personalities would have been like. Would they look like their big sister? Act like her? Or be completely different? Would Peyton, who I felt so sure was a boy, have loved Panther's football and playing basketball as much as his Daddy? Would Avery and Kendall, who I felt were girls, have loved to dance as much as their Mommy and sister? These are the things I think about. Questions I'll never know the answers to. I'll always feel like part of me is missing, because part of me is missing.

For now, I'm going to try to rejoice in the knowledge that my sweet babies are dancing with my Jesus right now, free from the pains and heartaches of this world; and focus on the hope I have for the future.