Why Not Both?

"Did you take drugs to get twins or was it just God being awesome?"

Someone actually said this to me.

Seriously.

First of all, none of your business. As all of my readers know, I'm very open and honest about our fertility struggles. However, I share our story to raise awareness and (hopefully) to help others who unfortunately are experiencing similar heartaches; NOT to satisfy the curiosity of some nosy person who wants to know if my twins are "natural." (FYI, the correct term is "spontaneous." ALL babies are natural, regardless of how they were conceived.)

Secondly, why can't it be both? I don't understand the idea that God and science are mutually exclusive. This thought process seems to be especially common when it comes to infertility. Many people believe that infertility is God's way of saying you shouldn't have kids. If this is true, then isn't cancer or a heart attack or a million other things God's way of saying you should die? People seek treatment for countless medical conditions without a second thought, but somehow pursuing fertility treatments is "going against God's plan." How does this make any sense at all? Infertility is a medical condition just like any other medical condition. I was losing my babies because my body wasn't doing what it was supposed to do. 

I suppose some may argue that infertility doesn't affect your physical health and well-being like other medical conditions. While that may be true (although not necessarily depending on the underlying cause,) I can assure you that infertility absolutely affects your emotional and mental well-being. Isn't that important also? As one of my MoM friends put it, cancer destroys your body and infertility destroys your soul.

I whole-heartedly believe that knowledge comes from God and that He can (and does) work through science. My boys are blessings and gifts from God, but they're also here thanks to my doctors and medicine.

And just to set the record straight, there are no "drugs to get twins." The vast majority of women who do fertility treatments just desperately want a baby and their bodies are failing them. The goal of fertility treatments is a healthy pregnancy, NOT a high-risk multiples pregnancy. I've met so many people who seem to think drugs like Clomid and Femara guarantee twins. Fertility drugs are not "twin candy."

In general, a woman's chance of conceiving twins is about 3% (slightly higher if there is family history of fraternal twins on the maternal side.) Femara (the drug I took) raises those chances to roughly 5-8%. Clomid (which is probably the most common fertility drug) raises the chances to around 8-10%. Other fertility treatments (injectables, IUI, IVF, etc) can raise it to as much as 20%, but there are a lot of factors to consider and each woman's "odds" will vary.

When a couple is trying to conceive, they have about a 20% chance of success each month with perfect timing. When more than one egg is released, each one has that same 20% chance of fertilizing. Three years of being unsuccessful, three failed medicated cycles, and the one time I release more than one egg (when my doctor only expected one of the three follicles to mature) they both just happen to not only fertilize, but also grow into healthy embryos... after four consecutive miscarriages. Fertility drugs or not, it certainly wasn't a "sure thing." Honestly, the possibility of twins never even crossed my mind while we were doing treatments. I just wanted a baby, but I'm so incredibly thankful that God chose to bless us with twins.

So I guess the answer to that question is, "Yes, and yes. I took fertility drugs and God is awesome!"