A New Journey

I know I haven't posted lately. I have about a million blog posts floating around in my head, but every time I sit down to write, I just can't seem to find the right words. We've had a lot going on lately. Almost two weeks ago, we had to say goodbye to my grandfather, which has been hard on everyone. It's been especially hard trying to help Piper understand. We've had to answer a lot of difficult questions. He was a great man and he will be so missed.

My emotions have been all over the place lately. How I'm feeling changes on a daily (sometimes hourly) basis. Sometimes I'm hopeful, but I'm afraid to get my hopes up . Sometimes I'm happy with the way my life is right now, other times I want a baby so badly that it physically hurts. I want to be optimistic, but I worry. I worry that I'll never get pregnant again. I worry that I'll be able to get pregnant, but will continue to have losses. I'm trying to take it one day at a time. I'm trying to focus on getting pregnant, then I'll focus on staying pregnant. I'm trying to hand my fears and worries over to God and trust His will in my life, but most days I fail miserably. I want to be at peace. I want to be content. I want this to be easy. I'm just having a hard time lately.

On another note, Tim and I have started a new journey. A weight loss journey, but not only that, a healthy lifestyle journey. Finding out I'm insulin resistant was a little scary for me. Right now my insulin resistance is mild, but I know if I don't do something about it, it could eventually turn into diabetes. So, I decided I needed to take control of my diet and my weight. We started the South Beach Diet on Monday. I have a very difficult time losing weight, but I've been reading the book, and I feel hopeful that this will be the key for me. It's a low-glycemic, low-sugar diet, and is often recommend to diabetic patients. The book even talks about insulin resistance when it explains the science behind the diet. It focuses on whole, unprocessed foods; lean meats, vegetables, fruits, whole grains, and healthy fats.

The diet has three phases, and right now we're in phase one. Phase one lasts two weeks and serves as a sort of detox to help regulate blood sugar and curb cravings for sugary, starchy foods. So far we're doing well, and I'm excited about this new adventure.