Mixed Feelings

Well, I'm not pregnant. I can't say I'm not disappointed. Of course I am. But in a way, I'm a little relieved too. We're going to Disney World very soon, and I was terrified of another loss ruining our trip. No worries of that now, and I'm glad I'll get to enjoy our trip without being paranoid and worried the entire time. I also can't wait to ride rides with my sweet girl and my hubby. We're very excited!

I'm also feeling very optimistic about our next cycle (for the moment.) I had a doctor's appointment today. They had to make sure the two follicles I had last cycle were gone before I could take the femara again. Everything looked perfect and I start the medicine tomorrow. I also talked to him about taking something for my insulin resistance and he gave me a 30-day sample of a newer OTC dietary supplement that is designed to treat insulin resistance in women with PCOS, so I'm feeling pretty good about that. We're going to try femara for two more cycles, and if I'm not pregnant we're going to switch to clomid and metformin. It feels good to have a solid plan in place. Dr. C was pleased with my response to the drug last month and is optimistic about our chances.

This journey is just such a roller coaster of emotions. I tend to start each cycle feeling hopeful and optimistic, then it goes downhill from there. After almost three years and four losses, it's hard not to get discouraged, but I'm going to try really hard to cling to the hope I'm feeling right now. Here's to hoping our Disney vacation is magical in more ways than one!